It's good to be reminded.
Geosister sent me an e-mail requesting I go into more detail about this entry. Here goes:
During my visit to Las Vegas, I suffered my worst bout of depression in years. Not only that, but come on? Being in a fun city, surrounded by numerous attractions not available in any other U.S. city?
Didn't matter. We got there Sunday late morning after a pleasant drive. I got to fulfill my desire to watch the tourney selection in the sportsbook (already shared that with you). And as eager as I was to visit Vegas, bear in mind that I don't gamble. (I have no major moral or religious objections to it. Gambling just does not appeal to me.) But the next morning, while out on a drive to obtain certain food items and other supplies, I felt sad.
More than the blues. Really down.
This mood persisted for the remainder of our stay. And it lasted until about Wednesday of the following week.
What happened?
Hard to say. Depression is one of those conditions that can have numerous and varied causes. I do keep in mind that it seems to run in my family. In my case, though, there may have been other factors. I'll share them here.
1) Isolation. Geogal was there for a conference (she has about three of these per year, and sometimes I will tag along. There were even occasions in the past where all three of us would travel, and Geoana and I would take in the sights while Geogal sat in meetings. This time Geoana stayed in Arizona with one of her friends, as Las Vegas is not known for being the most child-friendly city. I am an introvert and certainly derive strength from my times alone, but I am learning that I still need connection with other people on a regular basis. So, for most of the days there, I was disconnected from others. Sure, there are plenty of people moving about in these Strip resorts, but it's different from actual fellowship with friends or colleagues. And I'm sure I was missing my daughter.
2) Exercise. (The lack thereof.) I belong to a gym, and my routine nowadays is to drop off Geoana at school, then bust a sweat either doing cardio or weights. And yes, Caesars Palace did have exercise facilities, but with a charge of $20 per day. I did a considerable amount of walking during my visit, but that just isn't the same as aerobic exercise.
3) Disturbed sleep. Happened two out of our four nights there. I already described being awakened by the firework festivities followed by the Stardust implosion. Our last night in Vegas found us at the Mirage (the conference was over and we elected to go for a less expensive room). Advice to the Vegas visitor: don't get a third-story room at a resort. About 3 in the morning, we were awakened by the thump, thump, thump of loud music. Turned out it was coming from one of the lounges. The hotel manager got an earful from Geogal when we checked out. I learned that disturbing my sleep is one of the best ways to effect my mood--this being one of the many lessons learned from the time Geoana was born. That was the last time I suffered from depression of the level I am describing. Not only did I have no clue how to be a father or how to care for a newborn, but was dealing with a very dysphoric mental condition combined with Geogal having postpartum depression. After our sleep pattern was somewhat restored, the depression abated.
4) Spend spend spend. (And be gouged.) I'm trying not to be such a cheapskate, but yeesh! Stay at one of the top Vegas resorts, and it seems EVERYTHING costs extra. Want internet in your room? 10 dollars a day. Want a USA Today? 75 cents. Want to work out? I already mentioned that one. Want a cold nonalcoholic drink by the pool? 12 bucks. Tip not included. I could go on, but you get the idea. Maybe, just maybe my internal calculator added to my despondent mood. Particularly when I think about our road trip last October, when we stayed in medium-level hotels and got used to things such as free in-room wi-fi and a friggin' USA Today being provided at no charge.
5) Unmet expectations. I think this happens to anyone who travels to a particular destination, has a very enjoyable time, but on the subsequent jaunt things just are not the same, in the negative way. Both Geogal and I have been to Vegas previously so perhaps our mental expectations were just not met. I was looking forward to the trip, but as we were leaving for home on Wednesday, Geogal said she didn't feel any compelling need to ever visit Sin City again. I agreed.
Who knows? It may have been a combination of all the above items. Needless to say, Geogal's next business trip is to Colorado Springs in June.
I'm staying home.
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